Contact made...

[FortunateMother]

Hello Friends!

Just wanted to give you an update. I'm excited to tell you that I have made contact with my sons' birthmother's sister. I met her one week ago at their powwow-sans boys. She is going to talk to bmom tomorrow {hasn't happened yet...}about having a relationship with us. (Bmom hid pregnancies from entire family and community. Sister found a letter from me to Bmom two years ago {oops, actually it was a letter from the hospital that T was born at}so she suspected something.) Sister is really excited to meet the boys and wants her kids to meet them, too. She is a real sweetheart. I am hoping that Bmom and their other sibs will choose to meet the boys, too.

Sister has shared her info with their mother and other sisters and they are glad to know about the boys and that they are happy and well cared for. They say they have no intentions of disrupting their placement with us, they just want to know them. They have a strong family belief that everything happens for a reason.

I can't explain why I feel so deeply in my heart that this is so important for my sons-to risk loosing them (in tribal politics) so that they can know their birthfamily. I guess I just want to spare them from some traumatic "choice" later in life whether they should contact their bio-family or not and how that would make us feel.

Anyway, I should hear back from Sister on Saturday and we will make plans to meet after that.

I am so excited to meet this family. I feel so connected to them already. I am so glad that they are willing to meet with us and accept us all as a family. I feel very honored. I can't wait to learn more. I finally leared that they are Fox Clan. This tribe also has a birth order system of "naming". Du-con and Kishgo. My oldest son is Kishgo and Ty is Du-con"ee"-since he is the baby of the famiy. When I was at the powwow, I heard lots of other families referring to their kids by these names. The system was developed to preserve the families during time of war. The tribe would split into these two names and that way there would always be survivors of the family. Now they use the system for teams for sports. That way no one is ever "picked" last for a team. (I hope that all made sense...)

Peace!
Nancy

Edit to add...I also got to see Bmom at the powwow and my friend took a picture of her. She is beautiful (of coarse). The boys finally got to see a picture of the woman that we have been praying for for the last four years. Hear is the conversation with Vaughn...
Me...Look, Vaughn, this is J---. Isn't she pretty?
V...Yeah, I really like her arms.
Me...Look at her long hair. Isn't it pretty.
V... Yeah, she REALLY needs a hair cut.
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

This is the conversation with Ty, who has never really grasped the concept that he is adopted...
T..."That J---. She my birtmom. I go in her tummy." The he gazes lovingly at me and says..."You my Mommy. I wub you." (:sniffle: Awww)

[bearcat]

That is great, continued love, and good thoughts for all of you involved ... please give them a kiss and a hug, and yourself also ... no need to say that it is from ... :)

[Sanj]

Oh FM- that is so cool. What a great thing to do for your boys- I'm certain it will clear up alot for them later on. Good luck!!!

[Blackbear]

You're a brave woman! But I'm so happy for you and for those boys!

[PMS Crazy Woman]

You're a brave woman! But I'm so happy for you and for those boys!


Yes.. the same here.. you're a brave loving woman with a big loving heart! :)
All our prayers, hugs, and kisses too!

[Sekon]

Oh, FM, this is great news! It's very courageous of you to take this step, I know it must have been hard, but in the long run, a connection to thier heritage is going to be extremely important. I hope the birth family puts the best interest of the boys in this extended family relationship, as well.

Keep us updated!

[FortunateMother]

Thanks for all of your kind words and encouragement! I go from being really excited about the whole thing to being really SCARED that the tribal council would try to disrupt the boys' placement with us-even though their adoptions are final and closed. And I really mean TERRIFIED. It is an absolute sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. My husband feels the same way-but worse. I just have to have faith in my God that He will protect my boys and keep them from being hurt.

I will keep you updated!

[Sanj]

Can't you set up a meeting on your turf first?

[FortunateMother]

We are not so much scared of the family as they have agreed that as long as the boys are happy and healthy they wouldn't mess with their lives. It's their tribal counsel that could (and I've been told that some of them would) view the way the adoptions were handled as "illegal" and they could claim the boys-even though they would not have a permenent home for them to go to...

I will probably plan a meeting with the family at a neutral place. There is a really nice small powwow coming up at the end of August that we always go to -and I found out that their family is usually there, too. (Small world)

[FortunateMother]

Deleted!!! :stooges:

[FortunateMother]

Hi Friends!

Last Friday, my sons got to meet their older sister (14), one of their brothers (6), 3 Aunties, their grandma, and lots of their cousins! It was a very exciting time. We met them all at a local "multi-cultural powwow". Their bmom now knows that her whole family knows about the boys. And she knows that nobody is mad at her for what she did.

We met again on Saturday-My DH, me and the boys, their grandma, 2 Aunties, and just a few cousins. We spent and hour or so visiting at playground and we all got to know each other better. I feel so at home with all of them! The boys grandma even said something about adopting us!!! And they talked about making me a "squaw suit" if I was gonna dance. LOL...

I told Grandma how much my friends have been giving me grief for outing the boys bmom. And she told me that I couldn't help doing what was in my heart...very reassuring.

This is going to be so good for the boys'!

[PMS Crazy Woman]

That is soo great to hear! You are one very sweet and wonderful person. :cheerlead I wish you all the best thru the years :)

[FortunateMother]

:wink: Thanks!

I'm also learning more about their bmom. She is a good traditional cook. She sews and beads and makes regalia.

[Jcmc]

Good luck to you and your family.
JCMC

[FortunateMother]

Hi Friends!

Just thought I'd give you an update...

We are meeting the boys' bio-family at the Zoo on Saturday for Trick or Treating. I am really excited! Vaughn is going to be a sea monster (mama made) and Ty is going to be Spiderman!!!

I'll fill you in on how it goes. Birthmom is suppose to come. This will be the first time meeting her!

FM

[Sekon]

Well, if you can, let us know what happened. :)

[FortunateMother]

Everything went really well on Saturday. Birthmom didn't come. I don't think she is ready yet. We met two Aunties and Nookamis (Grandma) there and a few cousins. Then we went out to eat afterwards. The boys were pretty good. Got some good pictures. Will try to post...

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e243/cnvtmiller/06Oct108.jpg

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e243/cnvtmiller/06Oct088-1.jpg

[Sanj]

Your boys are so cute!!! They are getting so big!!!

[FortunateMother]

Thank you, sweetie!

[Sekon]

Awwww....those boys are adorable in their costumes! I like the kid in the chicken outfit in the back.

Well, FM, maybe next the birthmother will be ready. At least the boys got to meet some of their birth family and are exposed to native culture. That's a good thing. :)

[Blackbear]

Boy they ARE cute!!! I'm so glad things worked out great for them and you!!!!

[snipeclan3]

Good for you and the boys! I finally met my birth mom about 4 years ago. I'm now 38 years young. It's nice to know her, but I can't call her 'Mom'. I call her by her name Alice.

[Sanj]

Hey snipeclan- happy to hear about your reunion! We have a 39 year old cousin who's been around since about 2001. She's wonderful, and very much part of our big family. I don't know if she calls my auntie Mom or not.

[FortunateMother]

Just thought I'd post something to show off a recent picture of the boys!

We are hoping to get together with their "NDN family" as I am now calling them, this week at Chuckie Cheese's for a cousin's birthday. We are so looking forward to seeing them again. I saw an Auntie before Christmas and took gifts for everyone and they have gifts for Vaughn and Ty. Auntie's kids are so curious about all of us. It is so cute. Cousin K found a Christmas ornament with my name on it and bought it for me. Sweet! Things have been going really well!

This was the boys' Christmas list:

The Shake and Go race track
the Crazy Croc Hot Wheels launcher
A baby sister
and a dog

They got every thing but he baby sister so far. I got them a miniture schnauzer and everybody loves her. Her name is Cricket. I hav enever house broke a dog before so we are not doing well on that end. But we're getting there!

[PMS Crazy Woman]

I've been wondering how you guys have been doing. :)
Thanks for posting the 2 pic's. Aaawwh.. they look so adorable. You're a very blessed Mom to have such wonderful joys in your life. :)
Also it's great to hear things are going good w/ the other side of things too. :)
You're such a sweet and kind person.. :)

[FortunateMother]

:uplaugh: :uplaugh: :uplaugh: YOu don't know me very well, do you??? :uplaugh: :uplaugh:

(Hehe, thanks! :) )

I know that I'm more blessed than I even realize!

[Blackbear]

what huggable kissable kids!!! Those are great pics FM! Thank you for sharing!!!

[FortunateMother]

Well we survived our first trip to Chuckie Cheese. There was a TON of family there. It was quite overwhelming to be meeting all these new people in such a chaotic environment and having to keep track of the boys all at the same time! Ty peed his pants and started taking them off on the way back over to the table-crying-poor baby... I had to make him sit in the chair next to his Nokomes-naked from the waist down-while I ran next door to the Dollar Store to re-outfit him. :hah hah It all turned out ok.

We all had fun. I got an ok pic with the boys and their three older brothers. That was exciting for me to get to meet their oldest brother who is in eighth grade. He's the only one that really understands whats going on...

that's it for now....

[Sanj]

How many kids does their birthmom have?

Your family is beginning to remind me of a friend of mine's. Her birthmom had so many kids! It's nice that these days (she's 33) she can take advantage of the bio siblings when she's in town- she always has a place to crash and someone who wants to babysit for her!

[FortunateMother]

Their bmom has 4 kids that she parents. She lives with her mother on the settlement, along with her sis and her son, and LOTS of the boys' cousins. I don't even know how many people live there.
It is so fun to get to meet everyone! I brought Ty's baby book with me and they all looked at it and saw how he looks like his bmom. They told the old "big sister hair cutting stories" and stuff. I'm so thankfful for them. I hope everything just keeps on going so well.

I got to meet an NDN lawyer yesterday. She is going to a local college next week to give a talk on ICWA. I half-jokingly asked her if I could tag along and she said yes!!! Should be interesting!